a mother's dream

I had a dream the other night and duly brought it to my trusty therapist for interpretation.

In my dream I was very pregnant. Um, kind of like now. And living in some type of communal housing place. There was no one around. We had a dog, a Collie (we have a big fat cat in real life), and the dog was the only living creature around me.

I fell asleep.

When I woke up, there was a little pink, shiny, embryo-looking creature lying next to me. I thought, oh! I've given birth! And she's so clean - the dog must have licked her off! (I know... this is weird)

She looked like babies do in the early embryonic stages - kind of like a fish. Not very human-looking. I didn't know where her mouth was and as I thought I should feed her, I was holding a breast and kind of waving it around to see where it might make sense to put it. Then (just like in the movie Avatar, where they connect with the animals via hair ends) what was her mouth and my nipple kind of glowed and fused together. I was happy. Went back to sleep.

When I woke up again, she had grown to be a little child - maybe a year old or so. She had very long, huge, big hair. New Jersey Hair. Hair that looked like wig hair - dry and fake-looking. She said she wanted me to do something about her hair before I introduced her to anyone. I said, sure! how 'bout we cut it? She said no! Then I went for styling it - no! - no matter what I suggested, she said no. There wasn't anything I could do to her hair, given the parameters she was giving me.

The end.

My therapist said that it seems like I'm scared I won't know how to mother this child.

She also said that there could be something to do with wanting to help her when/if she's frustrated and not knowing how.

Her interpretation resonated.