blithering

I can't get that dream out of my head... I keep thinking of it. Every night before I go to sleep, I pray that I'll dream more of her because I want to know - so badly! - if that was really her.

I'm definitely in the 3rd trimester now. It's weird how clearly the trimesters are demarcated, how true those demarcations are, isn't it? I chugged along the 1st trimester, sicker n' sick. Then BAM! Hit the 2nd trimester and life was once again pretty darn good (except for all the other stuff going on). 3rd trimester and BOOM, I'm waddling. Having a hard time getting comfortable. Difficulty breathing again. Hands a'fire with pain. I want my ice cream!!! And all that same stuff that I had with Micah. It's nice knowing the ropes. This is normal. Not always fun, but totally normal.

I'm almost terrified of what things are going to be like with Moxie/Ds. And yet I want to hold her so badly. I love the person that she is inside of me - so very lively! - and I'm scared of all the unknowns.

Being all flooded with hormones, that translates to a lot of tears again. I cry a lot. Hardly ever in front of other people, but yes, oodles of crying.

I'm really trying to keep myself in line. Try to rest. Try to exercise everyday. Try to do funstuff and not just work all the time. Try to give in and play with Micah when I want to. Forget about all the housework that needs doing when I get home, forget about the dishes and whatever. Just relax.

And be.

The dishes can be done later.