the value of statistics

It's funny how doctors want me to focus on some statistics and not others.

An amniocentesis has a 1-2% chance of being wrong. Of having a 'false positive'. And a VBAC (vaginal birth after casesarean) has a 1% chance of uterine rupture.

The perinatologist that we saw yesterday, Lawrence Newman (pictured), talked a lot about the 1% uterine rupture statistic and that many people opt for another c-section because of it... and then when we wanted to talk about the 1-2% chance of false positive, he poo-poo'ed us with, 'your child has down's syndrome. you need to face it'. I mean, he wouldn't entartain the idea of a false positive at all!

It was kind of funny. Mikey said that the reason we were even asking is because we were told that she had NO chance of surviving past 13 weeks with her diffuse hydrops. 0%. And then 2 weeks later, it was completely resolved. Fancy that! He was basically then telling us that our Rainbow has already performed one miracle, what more do we want? Huh?

Fucker. Except I kind of liked him. He had a truly thick New York accent and a nice sitcom-Grandpa manner about him. Okay, Newton, you are an idiot but I forgive you.

The other thing he was doing was emphasizing the lifetime of care that we'd face with a child with Ds. You know, such a burden. That when we're "gone it'll be on the family/siblings to care for her and that while a few people with Ds can have functional lives, most of the time you are looking at a lifetime of constant care". A death sentence! Say gooooooooood-bye to your normal life, oh Mama, cause you are looking at spoon-feeding till you croack!

I was kind of getting freaked out when he was talking until I remembered stuff I'd read in mom-blogs of moms of kids with Ds. Here's one bit from the Upside of Down. I think when I've got more time, I'm going to write my massive missive to Kaiser about how they ought to re-phrase stuff. Know their shit a bit better. Quit pushing termination because you know what? If I had listened to them from the get-go, this baby would be already be gone.

And right now, this moment: I'm glad she's not. I'm glad that I can feel her kicking away in me as I type.