seeing things

You know how you never notice anything till it's a part of your life or what you're thinking about? Like, you never really notice cars - or pregnant people -until you are car shopping or pregnant yourself?

Well, it was like that for me with Ds and things related.

I work in the disability industry. I AM a person with a disability. 8 hours a day, my life relates all around disability - but never, ever with developmental disabilities. I've always been scared of developmental disability, done my best to keep away from it. So when I've received product catalogues for stuff related to developmental disability, I've always automatically put it in recycling. Not relevant for my population, and I wasn't at all curious.

Today... giant leaps was in my mailbox. I brought it to my desk... read it. And of course, started bawling. It's such a mixed bag of emotion, you know? On one hand, I'm keenly aware that things are better for me, easier for me and will be easier for Moxie because I get these catalogues delivered to me already. Because I know people who know people. Because I know this system. I'm grateful, I'm very grateful.

And then. I'm so desperately sad that I'm grateful. That I've got a need to be grateful for these things. That everything that I previously disregarded that was handed to me is now relevant and will be applied. That I won't skim over Training Resources to just the sections that relate to my program or myself.

Because it's all relevant now.